


Fallout

by miss_grey



Series: What We Do In The Dark [20]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Betrayal, Confessions, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Frottage, Just Nix being sexy as fuck because he can't help himself and neither can I, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Supernatural AU - Freeform, hunter carwood lipton, hunter dick winters, hunter harry welsh, vampire nix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_grey/pseuds/miss_grey
Summary: In the days following the explosive exorcism, everyone tries to find their new equilibrium amidst the fallout.





	Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> You're welcome.

 

 

Carwood pulled his knees up to his chest under the thick blanket and leaned back into the couch cushions.  The room swam in front of him, always shifting, and he didn’t feel like he could get a good grip on it.  He blinked, and then Dick was there in front of him, kneeling, with a mug extended out toward Carwood.  Dick’s face was tense, eyes red-rimmed, and he beckoned with the mug.  “Come on, Lip,” Dick coaxed.  “It’s your favorite—Earl Grey.  It’ll help settle you.”

Carwood frowned, but reached out a shaking hand for the mug.  It was warm and solid in his hold.  He raised it to his lips and took a sip of the sweet, milky tea.  “Thanks, Dick,” he croaked.

Dick’s eyes softened.  “Yeah, of course, Lip.  Whatever you need.”

Carwood took another sip of the tea, and his hands started shaking again, so Dick took the mug back.  Carwood frowned up at him.  “Where’s Nix?”

Dick sighed and his eyes seemed to shutter for a moment.  “He’s not here, Lip.  Remember?”

Carwood shook his head.  “No, I don’t.”

Dick seemed to swallow past a lump in his throat.  “You didn’t want him here, so he left.”  Carwood frowned, trying to remember, but all he could recall was screaming, crying, and yes, some lashing out.  Had he tried to go after Nix?  Had he tried to fight Dick?  What had he done?  “It was just too much,” Dick said, pressing the mug back toward Carwood.  “But you don’t need to worry about that right now, Lip.  Just relax, okay.  You should sleep.”

And then, after a while, he did.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dick paced the front porch, back and forth, back and forth, phone clutched tightly to his ear.  “How’s he doing?”  Harry asked, voice sober, concerned.

“About the same,” Dick murmured.  “He was talking, but he doesn’t seem to remember everything.”  Dick sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting to push back the oncoming headache.  “I mean…I’m not surprised.  He was…pretty out of it.”

“Ok, tell me again.  What the hell happened?”

Dick huffed.  “We’ve already been over this, Harry.”

“Humor me, Dick.”

Dick’s throat clicked and he had to fight to swallow past the lump that kept trying to choke him.  He ran a hand through his hair and took a seat on the porch swing.  Then, thinking twice, stood again and resumed his pacing.  “When we left the bar, we ran into Ron.”

“Lip’s new boyfriend.”

“Yeah.  Only, then Nix realized it was the demon.  He knocked me out of the way and the demon went after him.  I realized the demon was about to kill Nix, so I…exorcised him.”

“And Lip?”

“I don’t think Lip really knew what was going on, Harry.  I think he just saw his boyfriend turn to ash.”

“And after?”

“He screamed and cried a lot.  Then he took a swing at me when I tried to help him up.  And when Nix pulled me back, Lip went after him, too.”

“He didn’t hurt either of you?”

Dick shrugged, even though he knew Harry couldn’t see.  “I’ve got a couple bruises, but nothing major.”

“Then what?”

“We got him home as soon as we could, because he was… having a breakdown.  Harry, it was like West Virginia all over again.”

“Mmm….  I can imagine.  Poor Lip just learned that his new boyfriend was actually a demon that was trying to kill him.”

Dick scoffed, frustrated, and sped up his pacing.  “Yeah, I guess, but I just….  It doesn’t make sense, Harry!  They spent a lot of time together.  Alone.  If this demon wanted to kill Lip, then why didn’t he just do it?  He had plenty of opportunities!  And why did he go after Nix?”

“He probably went after Nix because Nix could sense what he was, and outed him.  I mean… what else could the demon have done?  As for why he didn’t kill Lip… I don’t know, Dick.  I’ve never really tangled with a demon before, you know that.  Maybe Lip had something he wanted.  Maybe he was playing a long game and wanted to infiltrate the hunter network.  I don’t know.”

Dick lowered himself to sit on the porch steps, again, sighing.  “That’s exactly the same thing we thought about Nix in the beginning.”

Harry made a sound of acknowledgement, but chose not to comment further.  Then, “How is _he?_ ”

“Nix?”

“Yeah.”

“Shaken, probably.  I mean… he almost…the demon almost….”  Dick cleared his throat.  “If I’d been any slower, the demon would have had him, Harry.  And he just….”  Dick growled.  “He just stood there!”

“Dick….”

“He didn’t want to leave after, Harry.  He wanted to stay.  But Lip couldn’t stand looking at him, couldn’t stand looking at me, either…but I wasn’t gonna leave him like this.  Still… we thought it was best for Nix to leave until things…settle.”

“So where’s he now?”

“Back in Jersey.”

“You think he’ll be alright?”

“I don’t know, Harry.  Like I said…it was close.  Then…well, he freaked out a bit, too.”

“How so?”

“He panicked, I think.  Like…he thought the demon had gotten to me, which is ridiculous, because he was in the way, but still….  He couldn’t stop looking me over.  He was shaking.  I think… well, it triggered some old trauma in him, I think.”  Dick shook his head, feeling his stomach heave.  “Then…well, he found the bruises on my arm.”

“What bruises?”

“From where he pushed me.”

“What did he do?”

“He just… I dunno, Harry. He couldn’t handle it.  And he sort of shut down, until Lip took a swing at me.”

“It sounds like it was a real mess.  I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Dick said, “me too.”

“Keep me posted on Lip.  Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Thanks, Harry, I will.  But… I think it’s just a matter of waiting.  He’s gotta figure things out.”

“Yeah.”  Harry sighed, sounding very tired.  “Take care of yourself, Dick.”

“You too, Harry.”

Dick ended the call and thumped his head back against the porch rail.  His phone vibrated and he glanced down to see a text from Nix.  Dick swallowed thickly and opened it.  _“How are you?”_

How the hell was Dick supposed to answer that?  He felt hurt, for himself and for his friend.  He was exhausted, and pissed off because of what had happened to Lip.  He was angry that he’d added to his friend’s pain, but he wasn’t sorry about what he’d done.  Whenever Dick closed his eyes, he saw the scene play out in front of him again, in slow motion.  The demon reaching for Nix, ready to burn him out of existence, Lip screaming for them all to stop.  Dick couldn’t stop, though.  He couldn’t have.  If he had, Nix… well.  Dick couldn’t have stopped.  He typed back:  _“I’m okay.  How are you?”_

_“Worried about you.”_

_“Nix….”_

_“Dick.”_

Dick sighed, shaking his head.  He pocketed his phone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Carwood poked at his eggs.  He sighed, then pushed the plate away.  Dick frowned at him.  Carwood cleared his throat, cutting off the reproach before it could come.  “I’m not hungry, Dick.”

“Lip….”

Carwood looked up at Dick, eyes tired, gritty, from lack of sleep.  “How could I have been so stupid?”

“No,” Dick said, shaking his head and sitting himself across from Carwood.  “No, Lip.  You weren’t stupid.”

Carwood shook his head, feeling rage and sadness and hopelessness all rise up in him, unstoppable.  “I was!  I was so goddamn stupid, Dick!  He was a demon!  I was….”  He cleared his throat.  “I was with a demon that whole time.”  He shook his head, voice coming thin—it was difficult to breathe.  “Of course he was a demon.  I should’ve known.”  Carwood forced a chuckle, but it hurt his throat to do it.  “He was too nice.  Too perfect.  Of course he was a demon.”

Dick shook his head.  “Lip… we don’t know what he was doing.  Why he did what he did.  But… it’s not your fault.”

“What kind of hunter am I, Dick?  I slept with a goddamn demon and didn’t even realize it!”  His voice echoed in the otherwise still kitchen, and Dick’s eyes widened at his confession.  “I couldn’t tell, Dick!  I couldn’t tell.  And then….”  He shook his head.  “I shouldn’t have hit you.”

Dick shrugged.  “You were upset.”

“Doesn’t matter.  I shouldn’t have done it.  You, uh… you did what you had to.  You did what I couldn’t…what I should’ve been able to do.”  Carwood clenched his fist.  “That demon had a contract on me, and I just… walked right into his hands.”  He took a deep breath, let it out slowly.  “I don’t blame you for what you did.”

Dick nodded numbly.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Lip.”

“I know.”

“I just….”

“Nix.  I know.”

Dick shook his head.  “No, it wasn’t just….”

“It’s okay, Dick.”  Lip shook his head, voice trembling.  “We were both wrong.”  Lip reached out and took hold of his orange juice, took a shaky drink, then pushed the glass away again.  “I don’t know why Ron—the demon—I don’t know why the demon went after Nix.  But… I saw what he did, Dick.  He tried to protect you.” 

Dick lowered his eyes, and Carwood could see his throat working, trying to hold back his feelings.  “He did a stupid thing.”  Dick murmured.

“Maybe,” Carwood conceded.  “But…he did it for a good reason.”  He shook his head.  “I’m sorry about before…about what I said to him.  What I…did.”  Carwood couldn’t remember much, but he could vaguely recall lashing out at the vampire, blaming him for what had happened, wanting to hurt him, too.  “I can see more clearly now.  He protected you.  You’re my best friend, Dick.  I don’t know what I would’ve done if…well.  I never would’ve forgiven myself if anything had happened to you.”

“Well, nothing did,” Dick comforted.  “Don’t worry about me, Lip.  Just… take it easy for a while.”

“Yeah,” Carwood agreed.  “Yeah, I know.  I just…can’t make sense of it, Dick.”  He shook his head, voice cracking, eyes watering, as he asked “What did he want?  Did he just… want to hurt me?  Is that what this was about?  Hurting me?”  Carwood took a deep, shuddering breath.  “It hurts, Dick.”

Dick frowned and reached forward, grasping Carwood’s hand on the table top.  “I know, Lip.  I know.  And I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I wish this had never happened to you.”

Lip nodded, voice choked.  “Me too.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“How are you?”_

_“I’m still okay.  You don’t have to worry about me.”_

_“I do.”_

_“How are you?”_

_“I’m fine, Dick.  Just…here.”_ The phone was still for a moment, then _“I know you don’t want to hear it, but…I miss you.”_

Dick swallowed thickly.  God, how had things gotten so messed up?  He missed Nix, too.  Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw it again—the vampire shoving him aside and standing between Dick and the demon.  He saw the look in Nix’s eyes as the demon approached, ready to kill Nix, knowing there was nothing Nix could do to stop it.  What good was there in lying?  What good was there in pretending like he didn’t feel the same?  Every argument he’d had before sounded stupid even to his own ears now.  Nix had been ready to die for him.  No hesitation.  Dick’s thumbs trembled as he tapped out his reply.  _“I miss you, too.”_

_“I’m sorry I hurt you.”_

_“You didn’t mean to.  I know that.”_

_“I’m still sorry.”_ Then, _“How is Lipton?”_

_“Pretty messed up.  He feels confused.  Betrayed.”_

_“I can’t even imagine.”_

Dick shook his head.  He’d been so wrong.  So wrong.  He’d held Nix at arm’s length, afraid of getting close, afraid of what that might mean.  He’d been so goddamn stupid.  When push came to shove, Nix hadn’t betrayed him, Nix hadn’t broken. Nix hadn’t even hesitated.  He’d gotten between Dick and a demon and refused to budge.  _“Me either.”_

 

* * *

 

 

When Dick emerged from his bedroom at 6am, he heard the shower running in the bathroom.  He gave the door a cursory glance, surprised, but decided to make some coffee rather than comment. 

About ten minutes later, Lip emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered, dressed in jeans and a dark green Henley.  It was the first time his friend had changed into clean clothes since…the incident, four days ago.  Catching sight of Dick, Lip wandered into the kitchen, running a hand through his damp hair.  “Morning.”  He said.  His voice was clear, solid, though Dick could tell it took some effort regardless.

“Morning, Lip.  It’s good to see you up.”

“Yeah.”  Lip grabbed a mug of coffee and reclined back against the counter.  “I feel a lot better today. More myself.”

Dick raised his eyebrows, optimistic but cautious.  “That’s good.”

“Yeah.  Things have finally started to make sense again.”  He took a sip of his coffee and shrugged.  “We’re hunters.  Sometimes these things happen.”

Dick frowned.  “Lip….”

“No, Dick.  It’s okay.  I just…I realized some things.”  He gazed down into his coffee, like maybe it held the answers.  “It doesn’t matter why Ron did what he did….  He was a demon.  I can accept that now.  Ron was a demon, and he was hired to kill me.  I don’t really care why he didn’t.  He…lied to me.  The entire time I knew him, he was lying to me.  I can’t trust a single thing he said to me.  I get that, now.  Ron was a…character.  A ruse.  He never actually existed.”  Lip cleared his throat.  “And I’m a hunter.  I have to accept that and move past it.  And just…not make that mistake again.  And I won’t, Dick.  I won’t make that mistake again.”

“Okay, Lip.”  Dick said, unsure of what else to say.

“But you…Dick.  You didn’t make the same mistake I did.  You _didn’t_ make a mistake.  I can see that, too.  Nix _didn’t_ lie to you.  I know the two of you were fighting, or whatever, before everything.  But, Dick… when things got messy, he was there for you.  He did what needed to be done to protect you.”  Lip shook his head.  “I don’t know what problems you guys have with each other, but…maybe they’re not the most important things, ya know?  I’m just saying, Dick… no matter what other issues you two have…he might be a vampire, but when push came to shove, he put you first.”  Lip squared his shoulders and met Dick’s eyes again.  “You should go talk to him.”

Dick swallowed thickly, his pulse racing at Lip’s words, at the idea of seeing Nix again, after everything.  “I couldn’t leave you, Lip.  Not right now.”

Lip waved his protest away.  “I’m alright, Dick.  I know I had a…hard time, for a few days.  But…I’m a big boy.  I appreciate everything you did for me, but I can take care of myself.  I have to.  I can’t just…fall down every time something regrettable happens.  That’s the life we live.  I have to be able to bounce back.”

“I get that, and I’m proud of you, Lip.  But…you’re also human.  You’re allowed to…be upset.  Angry.  Whatever it is you feel.”

“Oh, I do.  Feel it, I mean.  I’m just…dealing with it better.  I need to move, now.  Keep busy.  I think I might go visit Harry for a few days, see if Kitty needs help.  Or maybe even help Web in the library.”  He waved his hand.  “And you should go, Dick.  Don’t let this mess you up, too.  Because I know you’re not happy, man.  You were…almost, for a while there.  But now you’re not.  And I don’t want to see that happen to you, too.  I care about you too much to let that happen, especially over my stupid mistakes.”  Lip nodded his head toward the door.  “Go to Jersey.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rain pounded the windshield and Dick cursed, fighting to see through the downpour with the aid of the Jeep’s headlights, almost useless in this weather.  Dick checked his phone’s GPS again, and compared it to the address he’d written down weeks ago. 

He’d left the city twenty minutes ago, and since then, he’d driven through the dark countryside, bare of street lights—the beam of his headlights occasionally caught a fence, or some horses, or occasionally, a large mansion rising suddenly out of the darkness.  The GPS said he was close.

Finally, his headlights caught against the address—gleaming in bronze at the end of a long drive.  Dick heaved a deep breath, then pressed the gas and headed down the tree-lined drive, hoping this was the right place, hoping he’d find Nix at the end of the lane.

His headlights caught against the large brick building, covered in dense ivy, and his mouth fell open.  Nix lived… _here?_ Trembling with nerves for what he was about to do, Dick put the Jeep in park then turned the lights off.  He took another deep breath then leapt out of the Jeep, sprinting to the front door, the rain nearly soaking him in the span of those seconds. 

He wrapped his knuckles sharply against the door.  “Nix!”  He called.  He knocked again.

Suddenly, the door opened and Nix stood in front of him, barefoot, hair mussed, in jeans and black t-shirt, face shocked.  His eyes scanned Dick for a second, as if he couldn’t believe he was standing there, then he seemed to snap back to the moment.  “Jesus, Dick, you’re soaking wet.  Get in here.”  He stepped back and Dick followed him into the house, shivering in the cool air.  Nix shut the door behind him, then led Dick further into the room, a gentle hand on Dick’s shoulder.  Nix guided him into a large, comfortable looking den—fireplace, chaise, large, leather chairs.  Dick stopped just inside, and turned to Nix. 

“What are you doing here, Dick?”  Nix asked, eyes flickering across Dick’s face.

“What if I never say yes?”  Dick asked, heart beating in his throat.

Nix frowned.  “What?”

Dick cleared his throat.  “You want my blood.”

Nix shifted, running a hand through his messy hair.  “Yeah, I do.  But I told you, Dick.  I don’t take anymore.  I ask.”

“Well, what if I never say yes?  What if I never feel comfortable giving you that?”

Nix stared at him for just a second, throat bobbing, before he said “Okay.”

Dick blinked, surprised by the quick answer.  “Okay?”

Nix huffed.  “Yes, Dick.  Okay.”  He ran his hands through his hair again, more agitated now.  “God…this is what I’ve been trying to tell you.  If having you means I can never taste you like that, then okay.  Fine.  I just want _you.”_ Nix shook his head, voice strained, as he said _“_ Fuck, Dick.  You’re my best friend, and I’m… I’m in love with you.”  He took a step closer to Dick, so that they were nearly chest to chest.  His dark eyes held Dick’s, uncompromising, but full of longing.  “Say you want me too, and I can deal with the rest.”

Dick swallowed thickly, heart hammering in his chest, in his throat, in his ears.  “I want you.”

Nix’s throat bobbed, and his eyes widened, his mouth fell open.  “You…?”

“I want you.” Dick insisted.  Then, tired of wasting time and breath, and space, Dick surged forward, hands cupping Nix’s jaw, and Dick pressed their lips together, finally.  As before, the absolute heat and softness of him was a surprise to Dick.  He groaned in relief at finally being close again, finally just allowing himself to have what he wanted.  He pressed closer, and closer, until he felt Nix’s back thump against the living room wall.  The vampire’s hands fluttered at his sides, as if he couldn’t decide whether he was allowed to touch.  Dick reached down, grabbed them, and pressed them against the wall on either side of Nix’s head. 

Dick pulled back for a breath and Nix stared up at him, dark eyes blown wide, glazed with desire.  “Dick,” he panted, “please.”

Dick leaned close, chest heaving as he and Nix breathed the same air.  “Lew,” Dick muttered, then slotted his lips against Nix’s again.  Nix gasped at the closeness and Dick deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking against Nix’s soft, pouty lips.  Nix opened for him and Dick dipped inside his mouth, tasting.  _God, he tasted so good._   Then, feeling a surge of adrenaline, Dick pressed further, his tongue caressing the edge of a fang.  Nix whimpered in his arms. 

“Oh, God.  Please, Dick,” he gasped.  “Please.”

But Dick only continued, licking into Nix’s mouth once more.  Dick pressed their hips together against the wall and kept Nix’s hands captive.  “You feel so good, Lew,” Dick mumbled into the vampire’s ear.  He ground their hips together.  “So good.”

“Please, Dick,” Nix begged, writhing against him.  “I need more.”

“Then take it,” Dick whispered, letting Nix’s arms loose.

The moment his arms were freed, Nix raised his hands to Dick’s face, capturing him and holding him there as his own mouth went to work.  He nipped at Dick’s plush lower lip, tugging it into his mouth to suck on it.  Dick shuddered as he felt the light scrape of Nix’s fangs against it.  He moaned and Nix growled, his hands frantically unbuttoning Dick’s shirt and shoving it off of his shoulders.  “Fuck,” Nix murmured, tearing his mouth away from Dick’s.  He bent to press his lips against Dick’s collarbone, then traced his way down Dick’s chest, leaving wet, sucking marks behind him. 

“Lew,” Dick groaned.  “Lew.”  His hands wound into Nix’s dark hair and tightened.  Nix hissed and pressed him backward until Dick’s knees hit the edge of the pale cream chaise and he tumbled backwards, pulling Nix down on top of him.  And _God,_ Nix felt good.  So good.  Nix reached for Dick’s fly, but Dick caught his hands and twined their fingers together at the same time as he spread his legs so that Nix could settle tightly between them.

Nix rolled his hips and Dick’s eyes fluttered shut.  He threw his head back and Nix licked a strip up Dick’s throat.  Dick could feel his own pulse hammering away under his skin, and he could just imagine what it was doing to Nix.  He kissed Dick’s skin wetly and thrust against him again in a long, lazy roll of his hips.  The friction pulled a groan from his throat and he did it again, and again.  Dick tightened his legs around Nix’s hips and rolled his own up, egging Nix on.  “Fuck, Dick.  Fuck.”  Nix rutted against him frantically.  He dropped his face to Dick’s neck and panted.  Dick squeezed Nix’s hands in his own, still urging him on.  Nix nudged Dick’s legs further apart so he could press closer and change the angle a bit to line them up better.  Dick groaned and his hands tightened almost painfully on Nix’s.

“Lew!”  He gasped, and then he was coming, eyes fluttering shut, his mouth falling open.

Nix pumped his hips frantically—once, twice, and three times, and then he stiffened, crying out.  Then, his body went limp and he buried his face in Dick’s neck, breath panting hotly against Dick’s jugular.  Dick felt a drop of wetness—a tear—slide against his skin, and then Nix gasped, a sob ripping from his throat, and Dick released his hands to wrap his arms around Nix’s back and hold him close.  “Shhh,” Dick crooned, “It’s okay, Lew.  It’s okay.”  He petted his hands through Nix’s thick, dark hair and pressed a kiss to his temple.  In his arms, Nix continued to quake, completely overwhelmed with sensation.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Carwood stood in the kitchen, mechanically pushing a spatula through a skillet of scrambled eggs.  The house was quiet, empty.  He was alone, and the sun had just broken the horizon.  He sighed, forcibly clearing his thoughts from the dark road they’d started to wander down again. 

Suddenly, his phone rang and he glanced down to see the smiling face of Harry Welsh on the screen.  Carwood gave the eggs one last push then turned the stove off, setting the pan aside.  He picked up his phone and answered.  “Hi, Harry.”

“Hey, Lip.  How are you?”

“I’m getting there, Harry.”  Carwood said, and it was even mostly true.  “What can I do for you?”

Harry paused for a moment, as if unsure.  Then, when he finally spoke, his voice sounded both tired and slightly stressed.  “I realize this isn’t the best time, Lip, but I wanted you to know.”  He paused again, and Carwood pressed the phone closer.  “I found George Luz.”

Carwood’s heart seized, and he almost dropped the phone, stunned.  “ _What?_ ”  He licked his lips, suddenly filled with a burst of adrenaline, his heart kicking into overdrive.  “ _Where?_ ”

“Philadelphia.”

“Send me the address.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, comments are love and they keep me motivated to write! Please let me know what you think of the chapter :) Also, feel free to come say hi on tumblr. I love to talk about fandom stuff! I'm @realhunterswearplaid.


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